A Word for 2020 (And A Thank You to 2019)

Happy New Year! After a full, joyful yet germ-filled break, we are back to the grind of work and school. In between the laundry and unpacking and grocery shopping and cleaning, I’m taking a few minutes to welcome the new decade. When our family celebrated New Year’s, Declan said, “I’m going to write a Thank You Letter to 2019 and a Welcome Letter to 2020.” I thought that was a brilliant idea. Here are mine. Maybe you’ll be inspired to write your own.

2019, Thank You for all the new opportunities, the chances to grow and stretch and learn. Last year was the first time I had a Word of the Year - TRUST. 2019, you taught me so much about trust, as I released the podcast and the book into the world. You taught me trust as I sent my kids to school. You reminded me again and again that I’m not in in control, but I’m also not alone .Thank you, for coffee and friendship and laughter and family, for tears and dreams and trips and rest. Thank you, for every single moment.

2020, Welcome! May I be open to all you might hold. May I not be fearful or anxious; may I continue to deepen in the trust this past year has taught me. My word for 2020 is HOPE. My spiritual director offered me that word, along with a challenge. We were processing some transitions coming up this year, and I said, “I’d like to feel hopeful, but I mostly feel nervous.” She replied, “You may want to think about how to live out hope, instead of just feeling it.”

As I’ve sat with that concept, and wondered what an active hope would look like, I’ve become more and more intrigued about the possibility of hope. I’ve made the journey from feeling to verb with love - love has grown muscles and skin and strength. Faith has moved as well, from a feeling to an active living out. What would it look like to embark on that journey with hope? Instead of sitting back and wanting to feel hopeful, how might I be hope in the world?

One clear way I’m already being invited to live out hope - and to deepen in the trust I learned last year - is by asking for your help. In the last few weeks of December, both my laptop and my microphone died. For the Life As Spiritual Practice podcast to continue, I need new equipment. Would you be able to donate even $5 or $10 to keep it going? You’ll receive another email in a few days about the podcast and fundraising, but for now please check out my GoFundMe and share if you can.

If you write a letter to 2019 or 2020, or pick a word of the year, I’d love to hear about it. Drop me an email, comment on the blog or on social media. May this new year contain joy and surprise and growth for all of us.

A Fall Update

It has been a challenging fall. My older two children have transitioned from homeschool to traditional school, and everything has been new, from having to get up early each morning to navigating homework to figuring out where to sit at lunch and who to play with at recess. They’ve been learning a lot; so am I. It’s taken months for us to get a sense of our new rhythms, and months for me to learn how to release them into the world. I’ve been breathing TRUST, my word for 2019. I’ve been journaling and praying and leaning on companions who remind me that it’s going to be ok, even when it doesn’t feel ok (really, why is lunchtime at school so hard?).

I thought this fall would be a creatively generative time, that my newly spacious calendar would connect to interior space and productivity. I had put both podcast recording and book marketing on hold for the summer, and I felt responsibility to return to both of those projects. But instead of experiencing interior spaciousness, I’ve encountered anxiety and grieving and identity shifts. What does it mean to be the parent of school-age children? Who am I now that my kids don’t need me in the same way? Who have I been and who do I want to be now? While it’s good to have space for those emotions and big questions, and while I don’t at all feel done with that inner work, I was starting to feel stuck in it. I was staring at it for a long time, without any movement, and I finally decided it was time to shift my gaze – at least a little bit, at least occasionally. I made a promise to myself a few weeks ago to make one small step forward on the podcast and the book each week. Whether I felt like it or not, I would begin some forward movement. I would honor my commitments.

Those small steps have opened up more grace and forward momentum than I could have hoped for. My first step was to contact potential interviewees for the podcast. Every person immediately replied yes, and within days I was recording again! I was surprised by how easy and natural it felt to record. As soon as I started listening to that first story, I was flooded again by my passion for this project. It is inspiring to hear individual’s story of connection with the divine. It is holy ground. The stories heighten my sense of what is possible in the spiritual life. I hope they’ll do the same for you.

For Season 2 of Life As Spiritual Practice, I’m moving slowly. The first season was a grand splash, eight episodes over eight weeks. This season I’m releasing every other week, for at least 10 episodes/20 weeks. I heard from listeners that it was hard to keep up because the content was so rich. I had a hard time keeping up too! Although conventional podcast wisdom says to release at least weekly, if not more frequently, to hold your audience’s attention, I can subvert the trend and listen to my own wisdom. This podcast is a slower, contemplative space, and I hope bi-weekly gives time for the episodes to unfold within your life.

The first episode will air next week. You’ll receive an email when it’s live.

I’m also slowly finding life and energy around promoting This Life That Is Ours. I was thrilled to hear from my publisher this summer that the book has been selling well. I’m beginning to think creatively about how to connect the book with more moms who long for a spiritual companion in their days. I’m working on supplementary material that will open new avenues of engagement, and researching speaking and retreat opportunities. I hope to have more to share next month.

Thank you for journeying with me. I hope this update meets you where you are, in the chaos and beauty of your everyday life. I hope the material coming your way over the next few months will provide sustenance for your spiritual journey. It’s a privilege to share the road with you.

Book News, Launch Events, & A Story

This is a big week: This Life That Is Ours: Motherhood As Spiritual Practice is now available wherever books are sold!

Four years after starting work on it, eighteen months after signing the contract, five months after finishing edits, it’s HERE! I am celebrating with two events:

• Pittsburgh, PA - Launch Party at White Whale Bookstore, April 6th, 7-9 pm.

• Springfield, OH - Author Program at Clark County Public Library Main, April 13th, 1-3 pm.

There will be books for sale and food and drink at each event. In Springfield, I’ll also be giving a talk on the writing process and the spiritual life of parenting. Please join me to celebrate (and buy a book and get it signed!).

If you can’t make it to an event, you can also get the book at your favorite bookstore or online retailer.

A Launch Day Story

This Monday was the official publication day, a day I have dreamed of since I was a kid: to have actually written a real book! I wanted to relax and savor the special day. The kids had a dentist appointment, but then we were going to go to a favorite coffee shop and take it easy the rest of the day.

Except Healy woke up with a fever, an earache, and a bad attitude. The dentist was followed by an emergency trip to the doctor. Which was then followed by the pharmacist. We finally returned home four hours later, after multiple meltdowns from everyone (including me). We were exhausted, and hungry, and disappointed.

I then spent fifteen minutes pinning Healy down in my arms, begging her to take the antibiotic while she screamed and cried. She finally took it, and was howling, “It’s not over! I can still taste it! Make it go away!” when someone knocked on the door.

It was my dear friend Lisa, bringing me flowers to celebrate the big day.

I burst into tears.

She gave me a hug, and then she took over. She asked my boys if they’d eaten lunch yet, and then made them food. She listened to them share their version of the day’s events while I rocked Healy on the couch. She made sure there was nothing else we needed. And then she left.

It was not the launch of my dreams.

It was, instead, a powerful reminder of why I wrote this book: because sometimes mothering takes us to the end of ourselves. Because it can shatter our expectations. Because sometimes we don’t know how we’re going to care for the sick child and feed the healthy children and care for our own souls. Because sometimes the Holy Spirit knocks on your door and gives you exactly what you need. Because we need companions. Because this work of mothering matters. Because it is all holy.

I hope you will share the good news of this book with the moms in your life. I am praying for all the hearts these words will companion.

Podcast News and Book Save the Dates

Happy 2019! I hope that your holiday season and new year were full of rest and connection and joyful surprise.

As I settle into the new year, I’m trying something…well…new! I’ve never had a “word of the year” before, but I’ve been intrigued by the idea. I’ve wondered what it could be like to pick a theme and to see how God might speak through it. As I prayed over this coming year and what is on the horizon, I heard God whispering to me to lean into TRUST. There are changes coming this year for me and my family, and some exciting new risks, and I can already see how returning to the word TRUST has loosened some of the fear and anxiety I carry around change.

I’m curious if you have a word of the year, and how you’ve chosen it. Is this a practice you’ve tried in the past? Or maybe it’s a new concept for you too? I shared about this on social media last week, and I was encouraged by all the responses. People are carrying some beautiful words and postures into the new year.

PODCAST

Hard at work on sound editing.

One of the places of great risk for me this year is through the podcast, Life As Spiritual Practice. After placing this project on hold in the fall, I feel ready to share these stories of connection with the holy. I also feel scared and nervous, and leaning into that word TRUST! The first episode will launch later this week, with new episodes each week through the end of February. You will receive an email when each episode becomes available. It will give you a behind-the-scenes look at the episode, and invite you more deeply into the practice that is explored that week. I hope and pray that this podcast will be a source of warmth, connection, and inspiration in these cold winter months (for those of us in the northern hemisphere!).

BOOK LAUNCH EVENTS

Another place of risk and hope is the launch of This Life That Is Ours: Motherhood As Spiritual Practice! It’s hard to believe, after four years of work, that this book will soon be in the hands of readers! There are two events coming up in April to celebrate. You will receive separate invitations closer to the dates, but if you’re like me, you’re already planning your spring, so I wanted to share in advance!

In Pittsburgh, PA: You are invited to a launch party at White Whale Bookstore on April 6th, 7-9pm. There will be books available to purchase. I’ll give a brief reading, and then sign books. Come eat and drink and celebrate with me!

In Springfield, OH: On Saturday, April 13th, 1-3 pm, I’ll be giving an Author Program at the Clark County Public Library. I’ll give a talk on the writing process and the content of the book, and then have a book signing. There will be food and drink and books available to purchase. I hope you can join me for this celebration!

Thank you so much - for sharing this journey with me, for letting me hear a bit of your sacred story, and for the ways you bring light into the world. I am grateful for you.